


The Bet

by ArenLuxon



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Bets & Wagers, F/F, F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:26:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22483306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArenLuxon/pseuds/ArenLuxon
Summary: Marshall and Barney make a bet. But there is something more to it. (Based on S07E03: Ducky Tie)
Relationships: Lily Aldrin/Robin Scherbatsky, Robin Scherbatsky/Barney Stinson
Kudos: 40





	The Bet

"Wait, so let me get this straight," Robin said. "If Barney can do all of that, he gets to touch Lily's boobs?"

"Sixty seconds, one squeeze," Barney added.

She turned to Marshall. "And if he loses, he needs to wear your ducky tie for a whole year?"

"Yes," Marshall said.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? I don't think Barney would have taken this bet if-"

"Ah too late," Barney said. "We agreed."

"Yeah, let's see it," Marshall said. "No way you can do all of that."

"Let's go."

Barney started.

And Marshall's confidence leaked away.

Barney was good. Like… really good.

He shared a look with his wife.

"This isn't good," she whispered. "He can't be that good."

"Did he really train for months just so he can touch your boobs?"

"We shouldn't have underestimated his dedication to touching boobs."

They stared as he did all of the things one by one.

She had to do something. Anything.

Lily tried to cough and jerk the table, but he wasn't distracted.

They needed more.

"Right," Barney said way too early. "And now for the big finale."

No wait.

Fuck.

She had to do something. Anything.

Then, Lily realised there was only one thing she could do.

She stood up and lifted her shirt in one smooth movement right as the shrimp flew upwards.

Barney gasped.

The shrimp landed on the table.

Lily lowered her shirt again.

"Yes."

She high fived her husband.

"You lost," Marshall said.

Barney smiled. "Nice tits, Lily. I can't wait to feel them. Alright, let's try this again."

He lifted up the shrimp.

"Wait, you can't do that," Marshall protested.

"Yes I can. _I'll do all those things_. That's what I said. No one ever said I couldn't try the same thing twice. The night isn't over yet."

"But…"

"You know," Robin interjected. "I hate siding with Barney here. But he has a point. You named the time and place. Right here, after dinner. So why shouldn't he get to try twice?"

"He can't try twice," Lily protested. Fear crept into her voice.

"You should have said that before you took the bet," Robin said. "Besides, you distracted him. How is that allowed? I mean, Marshall could have tied him on his chair and then he couldn't do anything."

"Don't give me ideas," Marshall mumbled.

"Exactly," Barney said. "You can't sabotage me. That's cheating."

"Okay, vote," Marshall said. "Who says he can't try again?"

Marshall's hand went up confidently. Lily raised both hands.

"That's two," Barney said. "Who says I can try again?"

He and Robin raised their hand. The two shared a look.

"Ted?"

"Huh?" Ted looked up.

"We need you here man," Barney said. "You're the tiebreaker."

"I abstain."

"You can't do that, pick a side."

"But, Victoria-"

"Pick a side, Ted," Barney snapped.

Ted sighed. "Fine, fine. Sorry, Lil, but you distracted him. It's only fair he can try again."

Barney smiled. "Lawyered. Up high."

He and Robin high fived.

Then, Barney picked up the shrimp.

"This is gonna be legen- wait for it." He tossed the shrimp and easily caught it in his breast pocket. "Dary. Legendary."

"Fuck."

With a look of defeat on their faces, Lily and Marshall went outside.

They made Ted stay inside, since it was already humiliating enough for Lily without an audience. Robin went with them however. Mostly to make sure they kept their word.

"I can't believe you went through all this trouble just to touch my boobs," Lily complained.

"I wanted it to be someone special," Barney said.

"Wait, what?"

"Wait a second," Robin said. "Are you counting this for your list?"

"No. A girl only gets on the list if at least half my cock entered her pussy or she uses her tits to-"

"Barney!" Lily protested.

"Hey, this is important," Barney said. "I once had this virgin with a really sensitive gag reflex. She couldn't take half of it. That's where the titfuck loophole comes in."

"Why didn't you just fuck her?" Robin asked.

"Because we both wanted to stay virgin until our wedding, ye Robin, keep up," Barney said.

"No, fuck her in her… loophole."

Barney's eyes opened wide. "Damn, why didn't I think of that?"

"Could you two degenerates please stop?" Marshall asked.

"Come on," Barney said. "Don't tell me you've never considered fucking her in her-"

"That's enough," Lily said. "Why am I special, Barney?"

"Right now, 283 women made the list. And 16 more women had their breasts squeezed by me without making the list. So you are the 300th pair of breasts I will have touched."

"That's disgusting," Lily said.

"Let's just get this over with," Marshall said.

Barney cracked his fingers.

They stood around Lily and Barney in a rough circle.

Marshall put on a timer on his phone.

"Ready, babe?"

"Ready," Barney said.

"I was talking to Lilypad."

"I'm ready, honey." She stood up straight and kept her hands at her sides.

"Okay, and go."

She expected him to grab her breasts right away. But instead, he gently cupped them. His fingers slowly rubbed her breasts. She could feel everything since she wore a shirt without a bra.

"Hey. One squeeze."

"This is rubbing," Barney said. "Don't worry. Your squeeze will come."

His fingers brushed over her nipples.

Electricity coursed through her body.

Lily closed her eyes and tried to imagine it was Marshall.

Except, she couldn't. Her own rule had backfired. Marshall always started squeezing hard. And his hands were much rougher. Barney's hands were more like a… like a…

Like a woman.

Wait, that was it.

Lily took a deep breath. It was easy to imagine it was Robin rubbing her breasts.

Her nipples grew hard under her soft touch. She tried her best to keep her breathing even.

This was like a dream come true. Robin was playing with her-

Then, suddenly, he gave her his one squeeze. During this squeeze, her hard nipples had found their way between his fingers. And now, they were twisted hard. Way harder than Marshall or Robin would ever dare to do. The combined pain and pleasure elicited a moan from her.

That was too much for Marshall.

"That's enough."

The hands left her boobs.

She opened her eyes and found her husband grabbing Barney. He seemed on the verge of throwing him against a wall.

"Baby, no," she protested.

"This guy-"

"What guy, Marshall?" she snapped. "You mean yourself? You're the one who bet my boobs."

Marshall's mouth fell open. Slowly, he let Barney go.

"This is your fault," she added. "And you're just making it worse."

"How many seconds do I have left?" Barney asked.

"I don't know," Marshall said. "I didn't stop the timer."

"Then I guess we'll have to start over."

"If you think-"

"Hold on," Barney raised his hand. "How about this? I give my sixty seconds to Robin."

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"But," Barney added. "Robin is touching your boobs directly. Beneath your shirt."

"Deal," Lily said.

"Hey, wait a sec," Marshall said.

"You prefer me?" Barney asked.

"No. But," he narrowed his eyes. "You're planning something. You would never give away your seconds like that."

"Nah, it's fine. I've felt _way_ better boobs."

"Hey," Lily protested.

"Like Robin for example," Barney continued. "Hers are heavenly."

"Thanks, Barney," Robin smiled.

"This stinks," Marshall said.

"Take your pick, Marshall," Barney urged him. "Me or Robin."

"Fine, Robin." He picked up his phone again. "Ready?"

""Ready,"" both women said in unison.

"Go."

Robin's hands went beneath her shirt.

Oh God.

This was even worse. She touched her exactly like Lily had always dreamed.

Lily closed her eyes and allowed herself to get lost in the moment. Because of this, she never noticed that Robin had pulled up her shirt to her chin and her breasts were now out for everyone to see.

She never noticed Barney and Marshall were both staring at her. The timer had been forgotten long ago.

A little girl on girl and they were just lost.

"Dude," Marshall whispered. "Are you seeing this?"

"I think we both won this bet," Barney whispered.

Robin smiled. Her touch grew bolder.

This was fun.

They kept going, until-

"Hey guys. What's taking you so long?"

Robin quickly pulled down Lily's shirt. Right on time, because Ted appeared in the doorway.

"We're done," Marshall said. "Come on Lilypad."

He dragged her back inside the restaurant. Lily's nipples were clearly visible through her shirt, but Ted was too lost in thoughts to notice.

Ted looked confused for a moment, then, he followed Lily and Marshall inside.

Barney and Robin were left alone.

"I don't understand why you let me do that," Robin said.

"Because, Robin. I want you."

"What?"

"I want to get back together. But not like the previous time. We are choking each other. We both need our freedom."

"Uhm." Where the hell was this coming from?

"If we're not jealous, we'll be great together. But how could I know for sure we won't be?"

She thought about that. Then, it clicked. "You want to have a threesome with Lily!?"

"Yes. See, this is why I like you. You just get me."

"You're insane."

" _We_ are insane, Robin. _We_."

"Why would Lily even want a threesome?"

"Now that she had a taste, she won't be able to stop. So when she comes begging for more, you just say you won't do it without me."

"And why would I be okay with that?"

He raised one eyebrow.

She sighed. "I hate you."

"Why? Because I know what you want but are afraid to ask?"

"Shut up."

"Make me."

Robin closed in and kissed him on the lips.

That finally shut him up.


End file.
